A Thought From My Head

That feeling

2010-10-28T13:41:00.003+13:00

When you just HAVE to pee but you remember that the water is "off" so first you have to find a large clean container (and no, you can't just rinse out a dirty container with water first because that would defeat the purpose)and run downstairs to fill it with the remnant of water in the pipes unlocked by gravity. Then the sound of running water. RUNNING water! What!? The water came back on and you didn't know! Haha. And now you have to race back upstairs to make it in time. All that precious time wasted looking for a suitable vessel when you could've been going.

And to top it all off you then decide to write about the whole experience on your pitiful excuse for a blog that no one will bother to read anyway. Which, in hindsight, is probably better for them anyway. But it only wasted 5 mins of your time so you still have to go vegetable hunting anyway. Anyway.

My filler word of choice today has been: Anyway. (closely followed by "just")

Ok... I'm going off to tackle the vegies now... Wish me luck.

Dreaming in a four-part miniseries

2010-10-26T23:17:00.006+13:00

That's right. If you follow these steps for a bizarre dream... or two or three or four! You might just end up in your very own mini-series like I did last night.

Step 1. Go to bed late (so that you'll be tired and go into a deep sleep quickly)

Step 2. Drink two glasses of water (or at least make sure your bladder is full-ish. This is to wake you up {hopefully!} before you've finished the dream -so you can still remember it.)

Step 3. Snack on something high in tryptophan (A Thought From My Head: Cheese Dreams). This is a spethial ingredient and people who eat food high in tryptophan yield a higher dream recollection rate and more vivid dreams. It's found in highest concentration in: Egg White, Spirulina, Atlantic Cod, Raw soybeans, Parmesan Cheese, Caribou, Sesame Seeds, Cheddar Cheese, Sunflower Seeds, Pork Chops, Turkey, Chicken, Beef, Salmon, Lamb Chop, Atlantic Perch, Eggs, Wheat Flour, Milk, White Rice, Russet Potatoes, and Bananas.

Yay! Go for it!

They say that your dreams are influenced but real life worries but I don't see the conection with what I got...

I started of with receiving a phone call to go on a special mission involving invisible spacecrafts hovering in downtown, Richard the 1. king of England, midwives disguised as sheepdogs, ships cutting the sea, assasins assasinating assasins of other assasins' assasins (I know, weird, right?), an empty sushi platter floating in a tank of ice water and running a shortcut through a dilapidated medical library at the airport to catch up with some friends (plus a WHOLE bunch of other stuff like catching miniature people in the fluffy recesses of the roof).

There were lots of blowing-ups and fast-paced action -it was all rather exciting.

And it ended with me sitting on the steps of the museum with another girl who made a phone call and the voice on the receiving end was none other than ME -in the past.

Mantid Terror...

2010-03-21T15:42:00.003+13:00

I snapped this giant preying-mantis stalking our street.

Nah, just kidding.

Blue People

2010-03-21T15:27:00.008+13:00

When I stumbled across this article on the Blue Fugates of Troublesome Creek, Kentucky I just had to keep reading... So what if it was written in 1982?

Click the title for the link :-) I've quoted the more interesting bits...

In summary (if you can't be bothered to go read the whole article -which you should) it's the story of an Appalachian malady, an inquisitive doctor, and a paradoxical cure.

I'd heard about people who turn blue. They had argyria, a known complication of chronic use of colloidal silver, but this was something different, something genetic -and that intrigued me more.

It started with a baby boy, Benjamin Stacy.
"Six generations after a French orphan named Martin Fugate settled on the banks of eastern Kentucky's Troublesome Creek with his redheaded American bride, his great-great-great-great-grandson was born in a modern hospital not far from where the creek still runs."

Born with "dark blue skin "It was almost purple,"

"raced by ambulance from the maternity ward... to a medical clinic... Two days of tests produced no explanation for skin the color of a bruised plum."

"A transfusion was being prepared when Benjamin's grandmother spoke up. "Have you ever heard of the blue Fugates of Troublesome Creek?" she asked the doctors. "

""My grandmother Luna on my dad's side was a blue Fugate. It was real bad in her," Alva Stacy, the boy's father, explained. "The doctors finally came to the conclusion that Benjamin's color was due to blood inherited from generations back." "

Benjamin lost his blue tint within a few weeks... His lips and fingernails still turn a shade of purple-blue when he gets cold or angry a quirk that so intrigued medical students after Benjamin's birth that they would crowd around the baby and try to make him cry...Dark blue lips and fingernails are the only traces of Martin Fugate's legacy left in the boy; that, and the recessive gene that has shaded many of the Fugates and their kin blue for the past 162 years.

They're known simply as the "blue people" in the hills and hollows around Troublesome and Ball Creeks. Most lived to their 80s and 90s without serious illness associated with the skin discoloration. For some, though, there was a pain not seen in lab tests. That was the pain of being blue in a world that is mostly shades of white to black."

"There was always speculation in the hollows about what made the blue people blue: heart disease, a lung disorder, the possibility proposed by one old-timer that "their blood is just a little closer to their skin." But no one knew for sure, and doctors rarely paid visits to the remote creekside settlements where most of the "blue Fugates " lived until well into the 1950s... Martin Fugate's descendants had multiplied their recessive genes all over the Cumberland Plateau."

About one patient who walked in...
"She had been out in the cold and she was just blue! Her face and her fingernails were almost indigo blue. It like to scared me to death! She looked like she was having a heart attack. I just knew that patient was going to die right there in the health department, but she wasn't a'tall alarmed. She told me that her family was the blue Combses who lived up on Ball Creek. She was a sister to one of the Fugate women."

"Trudging up and down the hollows, fending off "the two mean dogs that everyone had in their front yard," the doctor and the nurse would spot someone at the top of a hill who looked blue and take off in wild pursuit. By the time they'd get to the top, the person would be gone. Finally... Patrick and Rachel Ritchie walked in."

"After concluding that there was no evidence of heart disease... we began to chart the family."

"Cawein remembers the pain that showed on the Ritchie brother's and sister's faces. "They were really embarrassed about being blue. You could tell how much it bothered them to be blue." "

"...the doctor suspected methemoglobinemia, a rare hereditary blood disorder that results from excess levels of methemoglobin in the blood. Methemoglobin which is blue, is a nonfunctional form of the red hemoglobin that carries oxygen. It is the color of oxygen-depleted blood seen in the blue veins just below the skin."

"...drew "lots of blood" from the Ritchies and hurried back to his lab. He tested first for abnormal hemoglobin, but the results were negative. Stumped... He found references to methemoglobinemia dating to the turn of the century"

"...discovered hereditary methemoglobinemia among Alaskan Eskimos and Indians... caused... by an absence of the enzyme diaphorase from their red blood cells. In normal people hemoglobin is converted to methemoglobin at a very slow rate. If this conversion continued, all the body's hemoglobin would eventually be rendered useless. Normally diaphorase converts methemoglobin back to hemoglobin...

"... concluded that the condition was inherited as a simple recessive trait... a person would have to inherit two genes for it, one from each parent. Somebody with only one gene would not have the condition but could pass the gene to a child... it would appear most often in an inbred line."

"Cawein needed fresh blood to do an enzyme assay. He had to drive eight hours to search out the Ritchies, who lived in a tapped-out mining town... They took the doctor to see their uncle, who was blue, too. Zach took the doctor even farther up Copperhead Hollow to see his Aunt Bessie Fugate, who was blue. Bessie had an iron pot of clothes boiling in her front yard, but she graciously allowed the doctor to draw some of her blood."

"...they didn't have the enzyme diaphorase. I looked at other enzymes and nothing was wrong with them. So I knew we had the defect defined.'"

"Just like the Alaskans, their blood had accumulated so much of the blue molecule that it over-whelmed the red of normal hcmoglobin that shows through as pink in the skin of most Caucasians."

"...methyleneblue sprang to mind as the "perfectly obvious" antidote. Some of the blue people thought the doctor was slightly addled for suggesting that a blue dye could turn them pink. But Cawein knew from earlier studies that the body has an alternative method of converting methemoglobin back to normal. Activating it requires adding to the blood a substance that acts as an "electron donor." Many substances do this, but Cawein chose methylene blue because it had been used successfully and safely in other cases and because it acts quickly."

"... and injected each of them with 100 milligrams of methylene blue."

"'Within a few minutes. the blue color was gone from their skin... For the first time in their lives, they were pink. They were delighted." "

"...each blue family a supply of methylene blue tablets to take as a daily pill. The drug's effects are temporary, as methylene blue is normally excreted in the urine."

Here's how it all started...

"the long and twisted journey of Martin Fugate's recessive gene. From a history of Perry County and some Fugate family Bibles listing ancestors, Cawein has constructed a fairly complete story."

"Martin Fugate was a French orphan who emigrated to Kentucky in 1820 to claim a land grant on the wilderness banks of Troublesome Creek... family lore has it that Martin himself was blue."

"...Martin Fugate managed to find and marry a woman who carried the same recessive gene. Elizabeth Smith, apparently, was as pale-skinned as the mountain laurel... began a family. Of their seven children, four were reported to be blue."

"The clan kept multiplying. Fugates married other Fugates. Sometimes they married first cousins. And they married the people who lived closest to them, the Combses, Smiths, Ritchies, and Stacys. All lived in isolation from the world, bunched in log cabins up and down the hollows, and so it was only natural that a boy married the girl next door, even if she had the same last name."

""When they settled this country back then, there was no roads. It was hard to get out, so they intermarried," says Dennis Stacy, "If you'll notice..."I'm kin to myself." "

"The railroad didn't come through eastern Kentucky until the coal mines were developed around 1912, and it took another 30 or 40 years to lay down roads along the local creeks."

"Martin and Elizabeth Fugate's blue children multiplied in this natural isolation tank. The marriage of one of their blue boys, Zachariah, to his mother's sister triggered the line of succession that would result in the birth, more than 100 years later, of Benjamin Stacy."

"...the blue Fugates started moving out of their communities and marrying other people. The strain of inherited blue began to disappear as the recessive gene spread to families where it was unlikely to be paired with a similar gene."

"Benjamin Stacy is one of the last of the blue Fugates. Because the boy was intensely blue at birth but then recovered his normal skin tones, Benjamin is assumed to have inherlted only one gene for the condition."

Movies to see...

2010-03-21T14:26:00.004+13:00

These are some of the movies I would like to see sometime...

Alive:
They survived the impossible...by doing the unthinkable.
Uruguayan rugby team stranded in the snow swept Andes are forced to use desperate measures to survive after a plane crash.

Train de vie:
It's a comedy, it's a fantasy, it's a musical, it's a drama, it's a romance, it's an allegory and, yes, it's a tragedy.
In 1941, the inhabitants of a small Jewish village in Central Europe organize a fake deportation train so that they can escape the Nazis and flee to Palestine.

"Le battement d'ailes du papillon" aka "Happenstance" aka "The Beating of a Butterfly's Wings":
Chance, chaos, destiny, fusion, liaisons.
How, thanks to what's known as the "Butterfly theory" (a random series of unlinked events), can a young woman and a young man meet?

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada:
Nobody is beyond redemption.
Ranch hand Pete Perkins looks to fulfill the promise to his recently deceased best friend by burying him in his hometown in Mexico.

Up:
By tying thousands of balloon to his home, 78-year-old Carl Fredricksen sets out to fulfill his lifelong dream to see the wilds of South America. Right after lifting off, however, he learns he isn't alone on his journey, since Russell, a wilderness explorer 70 years his junior, has inadvertently become a stowaway on the trip.

Waiting for Trains:
The last memories of an American man facing execution at the hands of his own countrymen. Set amid a fictional civil war in North America.

One Bizarre Day

2010-01-06T21:38:00.003+13:00

Never to be repeated. Even if I wanted it to.

Starting at 12am when I realised the buses might not be back to their normal schedule and had to check on Maxx. Then wandered through to the kitchen and saw the pile of tomato leaves I was going to turn into a batch of deadly aphidicide and promptly chopped and steeped them.

Then there was the cockroach incident mentioned in the previous post. Uuggh, I'll leave it at that.

Trust me to turn up to work by accident. So apparently I had got the day off (I had asked for it months ago, I might add, but I thought it hadn't been approved). There wasn't any work for me to do anyway so I just walked out again. (I think eveyone had a good laugh at my expense, oh well :-) And THAT was my easiest first day back at work ever!

Walked the "beach" way back to a suitable bus stop and passed by the ASB tennis court. There was security out and about and everything. Then I noticed the video rig, TVNZ sports presenter and a couple of people each decked out in a tennis uniform and accompanied by a raquet (I suppose, in retrospect, they may have been famous international tennis stars).

Got lured in to the Tai Ping Trading Co. and came away with: Durian wafers, seaweed peanut crackers, coconut jam and hot & spicy banana sauce. What can I say? It sounded interesting and I'm always willing to try new food.

Passed by the "Texan Art School" shop in downtown mall and couldn't resist a peek. I love pretty much everything therein; all the native birds and flowers. A bit pricey tho.

Too early to continue on the bus to Long Bay as planned so stopped in at home for an hour or so. Then didn't want to fork out for yet more bus fares just to go "round the corner" so I took a brisk walk in the fresh air. Then it came over all sunny and you know what they say about mad dogs and Englishmen? Well, I must be one of 'em. But I think I cooked my brain.

The party gathering under the trees was lovely [and I will just say here how much I love just getting together with a small bunch of people and spending time together -pity we have to wait til birthdays, although there are plenty of them it seems] but I seemed to get more and more heat-affected as the afternoon wore on, even tho. I chuggdback 3 bottles of water and tried to stay in shade as much as poss. (except for a quick walk up and down the beach -what can I say? I love walking and can't pass up an opportunity).

I stumbled inside and flaked on my bed with the doors open (creating the all important "through-flow-of-air"), my eye mask and yet more water and promptly fell asleep. Then awoke with a start remembering I'd left something cooking on the stove... Man, that could've been bad, instead I peered outside and was the parent's car in the drive and thought "Phew! they can deal with it". (It was for them anyway, I hasten to add). Next thing I know and Davs is doing his ducky dance on my roof to summon me for tea.

But no, the day was not yet over. I made up the anti-aphid spray and gave it a whirl. Mwahaha. And at ten-something pm I finally finished sewing up the skirt I'd been working on. Oh what a beautiful feeling.

Cockroach Attack

2010-01-06T21:33:00.002+13:00

Was attacked by a cockroach at 0111 this morning...

Ok, so it only crawled across my face in bed... but still, Eewwww... AND I swiped it away before realising what I'd done Eewwwwwer! (Sarah, do you realise you just touched something the size, shape and clingingity of a cockroach? Yes!... on flicked the light, stopping it in it's dirty little tracks).

Yeah, it got the death treatment.

Christmas Crumble Slice

2009-12-10T21:10:00.011+13:00

I made up this recipe after purchasing some festive ingredients on sale at this time of year and then realised I didn't actually have a use for them. It's kind of a cross between Christmas cake and fruit-mince pies... Enjoy. Makes enough to fill two slice trays (would also work in a large, rectangle roasting tray). PLEASE read the whole recipe first.

Combination and Assembly:
(about now a normal recipe will tell you to set your oven to Bake @ 180*C but I say "don't do that just yet unless you want to waste power". Good things take time you know and it is worth keeping the distribution of goodies roughly equidistant)

1. Line tin(s) with baking paper.

2. Whip up some tasty fruit-mince:
Butter
Brown sugar
1 Cup mixed dried friut
2 tsp mixed spice (homemade freshly ground is the best ;-)
1/2 tsp nutmeg
Lemon juice

Plonk some Butter and brown sugar in a saucepan on medium-low, dump in about a cup of mixed dried friut and stir to coat. Scatter in mixed spice & nutmeg. Stir then squirt in ~a Tbsp or two of lemon juice. Keep on low until friut softens.

3. Make Shortcake Base
125g Butter
1/2 Cup Castor Sugar
1 Egg
1 1/2 Cups Flour
2 Tbsp Custard Powder
1 tsp Baking Powder

Cream butter and sugar. Add egg and mix well. Add sifted dry ingredients. Mix together until forming a soft dough. Press into base of tin(s) until evenly covering the bottom.

Innards
300g Marzipan
150g (1 packet) Glace red cherries (halved)
175(?)g Dark Chocolate (1Pk Cadbury Old Gold 70% Cocoa, minus 2 rows). Cut each square in half.
1 Cup Friut Mince (easy to make your own! Remember step 2?)

4. Roll out marzipan and trim into appropriately sized rectangle(s). Making sure the rolling pin and surface are dusted with icing sugar. Reserve the trimmings (tear into little pieces)

5. Place marzipan in tray on top of the base.

6. Now turn your oven to Bake @ 180*C

7. Arrange Cherries

8. Place chocolate pieces between cherries.

9. Dollop on tsp-fulls of fruit-mince.

10. Spinkle left-over marzipan evenly.

11. Finally sprinkle on the Crumble Topping
1/2 Cup Soft brown sugar
1/2 Cup Icing sugar
1/2 Cup Quick cook porridge oats
1/2 Cup Flour
Chunk of Butter (50-100g should do)
Vanilla of some description (I used 1/2 tsp of Vanilla bean paste =extra moreish)

Melt Butter in the same pot you used to make the fruit-mince and pick up all the
extra yummy flavour. In another bowl combine sugars, oats and flour. Add vanilla to the melted butter and pour into the dry ingredients. Mix to combine. Sprinkle away!
(Just you try and resist eating this raw. Tehehe
Bake for 20 minutes.

Share your experience of this recipe?

Birds Steel Wreath

2009-08-06T20:33:00.002+12:00

From 3 Dollar Japan. Be absorbed in sweet memories then you will be a part of the nature. You can feel omfortable from the natural materials. The nature gives you relaxation and composure. Stay in the nature.

Oddly Out Of the Ordinary Occurrences

2009-07-27T21:52:00.003+12:00

You don't see these everyday...

I looked out the toilet window and what did I see (hopefully not coming for to carry me home)... A jacked-up ambulance having it's tyre changed.

I put the cover backwards on my microscope, something I have never done before and I don't know why I did it but I left it that way just to be different.

My parents went out to the movies by themselves. Weirdness.

I had an interesting case today. No normal cells in it at all. Had no idea what it was but that was ok -neither did the pathologist. Can't wait to see the results of the other tests.

Lovely Lightning

2009-06-29T21:49:00.006+12:00

There was a great vociferous thunder and lightening storm last night, Ezcellent stuff. It rolled in from the West around 10pm and proceeded to assult the house over the next two hours. I made us watch from our darkened lounge with the curtains wide open. Basically, we just sat around chatting about stuff with semi-regular violent interjections on my part.

When the tiredness got too much and my head started rolling off my shoulders of it's own accord I betook myself off to bed. Initially had some thoughts of sleeping but soon gave it up as a lost cause. Instead I made a tent with the curtain so I could watch the spectacle from the comfort of my toasty bed. It wasn't just your average sheet lightning. I finally saw an electrical snake zap low across the houses in yonder valley. Then a brilliant splattering of lemon radiating from the bolt, like a smashed fru-ju fruit.

And the thunder, oh the thunder. Some rolled on sooo long (yeah, alright all of ten seconds) and loud it rattled the pebbles in the shell on my dressing table. I put my hand to the plane and it was juddering like an earthquake (I'm not stupid, of course I'd never do that in a real earthquake!).

Due to the downpour an improptu creek formed from the rivulets running down the section and burbled past my back door. About now I dreaded running to the bus stop in another six hours and hoped it would clear up.

Then more of the same... Lightning, thunder, rain, Lightning, thunder, rain, rain, rain, lashings of rain. It never got old but by the end I suspect the lightning was having to force itself through the added layer of my eyelids aswell.

Overall it was pretty good, but still nothing beats the monsoon storm I experienced in India -that shook the bed (with me in it!).

What I do and what I really do

2009-03-24T22:51:00.004+13:00

Click the link in the title for a crash course in Cytology 101

So... people always ask what I do for a job and I'm usually fairly careful and pick my words wisely so as not to offend their sensibilities (I try to judge how much information they can handle and gauge by the general conversation how much more I should reveal).

I look at cells under the microscope.

Looking for cancer cells and precancerous changes.

And yeah, I do love my job (as much as one can love a job), we are so perfectly suited for each other -but that is kind of another story for another day...

Sleeeeep!

2008-09-20T23:18:00.001+12:00

I am fairly certain I have spent the past week catching up on a year's worth of sleep. A wasted week? By no means I hope.

Early Auckland

2008-09-19T11:52:00.014+12:00

View from Browns Bay beach looking out to Rangitoto Island

It's exactly four weeks (to the day) since I accepted the job. It's been a whirlwind of paperwork, uncertainty and stress. So, not the most enjoyable time.

I've lived just under a week in my new place and that holiday feeling is starting to wear off (and I expect it to fully disappear once I start work next week). My cat loves having me back. He saw the suitcases the first day and clicked that I was here to stay for a while. I'm not fully unpacked as I don't yet have a functional kitchen (or any kitchen at all). I thought packing up was hard enough but I'm too tired to do anything much. Although, this time I have way less stuff than any of my previous moves within Christchurch.

On Monday I paid a visit to the careers centre in Greenlane to go through the pre employment screening protocol, hand in some documents, fill in yet more forms, finalise some details, etc etc = HASSLE. And it took all afternoon.

Tuesday, I set out my furniture as I want it arranged and gave the upstairs bathroom an intensive scrub from top to bottom. About 4:30 I decided to go for a walk down to the beach (which is only 15 mins away) and that was lovely with the low sun casting long shadows. Children were playing, dogs were running free and I went barefoot on the sand and in the sea. I went to Bible study with David. Settling in will not be easy.

Wednesday, after another huge sleep-in Mum and I dined at a French cafe. We furnished the pantry with groceries for me to make one of my curries.

Thursday, it rained all last night and most of today. I had left a couple of books on the table outside to air out but when I remembered them, I found them utterly sodden and had to quite literally squeeze the water out of them. Don't know if they'll survive. Thanks to Farmers I now have a new pair of sunnies (as I had lost mine in the move) and new blue socks -just because.

Today, Friday, I intend to write some emails and answers for Bible study but I may end up updating this thing instead (hopefully as well).

Tomorrow I plan to get into the garden more, that is, if the rain holds off. Possibly might hope to visit the farmers market too.

Spring is in the air and though it's not so eagerly anticipated nor heralded to quite the same degree there are signs of blue skies ahead. It may rain with monotonous regularity but they're sun showers not dismal grey seemingly-never-ending damp clouds. The song of the Tui is never far away and sounds even clearer after a fresh downpour. I've seen many a monarch butterfly flitting about on the buffetous breeze. And flowers, oh flowers. The first thing I did was pick a bunch of fresias fresh from the garden. I most sincerely miss having a garden.

Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble

2008-08-24T22:39:00.003+12:00

I spent all yesterday doing something that was ultimately fruitless.
I wish I had woken up 10 minutes earlier this morning.
I wish the bus came earlier.
I wish I had a car...
and could drive it!
I wish people respected the technicalities of time (and at least permitted me into the store before actual closing time). Maybe if I were more comely and prolix they might've let me in.
I wish I hadn't wasted today.
I wish my fingers and toes weren't so stiff and numb from lack of use.
I wish I had had lunch today, but no time for that, I was trying to finish what I was trying to do.
I wish I wasn't so tired that I can't go out tonight.
I wish I could be in two places at once, nay three, actually, now that I think about it make it four (the RCC masqurade ball, a games night, curled up in bed sleeping and what I'm actually doing and/or should be doing).
I wish I wasn't so behind on assignments.
I wish I could be hugged.
I wish my dripping hair would not make me so cold.
I wish my dinner would cook faster.
I wish I could feed myself better.
I wish I could cook for someone else.
I wish I could talk.
I wish I had had a face to face conversation today.
I wish my clothes would go hang themselves.
I wish I had been a better friend.
I wish I knew what I was doing.
I wish I didn't have so much stuff to get rid of.
I wish someone would walk beside me.

I wish I hadn't wasted time writing all this nonsense

But these were my problems today and I know they will soon be over.
http://www.hooray2u.com/tomorrow.html

Matthew 6:34
Jesus said:
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about its own things.
Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

Good Call

2008-07-11T22:52:00.004+12:00

When I was trying to wind up a phone conversation with David I said, "well, you could be the first to put the phone down..." which was promptly greeted with silence, so I pulled the phone away from my ear and and was about to hang up when I saw he was still on the line. Curious, I resumed speaking, saying something about how I thought he'd hung up. Simultaneously realising we were speaking on cell phones we both fumbled a few seconds for words to express the irony, but it was David who first managed to articulate: "We can't say, "put the phone down" (cos I tried that and I could still hear you), nor can we say "hang up" (cos they have nowhere to hang) they're such archaisms. I think the word we're looking for is "end call" (you know the red phone symbol button?)"

Right on Dubs, the modern way to end a call is to simply hit "end call".

Fake Falling

2008-07-06T22:36:00.004+12:00

I happened to be drifting off to sleep thinking about how I went on a work conference last year back to my home city. So I decided to do the touristy thing and go up the sky tower which I had never done before. And I remembered what it was like to stand on the glass panels and see the city bustling between my feet many metres below. I remembered how it's just a "mind over matter" thing and the glass is so thick it would never break. Then I thought about what it would be like if it did break... What it would feel like to plummet toward the earth.

At that precise moment one of the slats under my bed popped out of it's socket (which gives both the loud banging noise and a sudden sensation of falling {even if only a few centimetres}). What a fright! I bolted awake. Weird coincidence or black swan event?

Good computer

2008-07-06T22:16:00.003+12:00

I backed up my computer today (for the first time in four years). It took all afternoon. I had no idea what I was doing and I still don't know if I did it right but I hope I won't ever need to find out.

Interesting Interpretations

2008-06-20T00:19:00.005+12:00

On a packet of Crystal Dates... brand was: Green Ecology Limitless Magnificence.

Preserved Lotus... brand was: "Aftertaste without end" and the Usage Direction: Directly Edible.

On a packet of Indonesian Ginger Tea... “Feel the Different!”

But I think this one takes the cake... Seen on a packet of pistachio nuts: "The taste fashion interest Pistachio: Cool fashion needs cool enjoying for you are the newest man"

Yum Yum

2008-06-17T23:28:00.005+12:00

Bugs snack on wood chips and excrete crude oil.

Amazing Love

2008-06-09T23:28:00.001+12:00

Do you ever wonder if God loves you too much? It never occured like this to me until just recently. To be honest, I had been feeling prickly and unloveable. Like nothing I did or didn't do ever mattered. God didn't really care. (LIES!!! all lies I tell ya). So, I did what I do when I'm at my wits end (why do I wait that long?) and there is no one to turn to. I simply asked God to show me how much He loved me. It wasn't that big a deal, and I kinda forgot about it. I wasn't sure I would know if I'd even got an answer.

But, yet, despite my intrinsic unloveliness and unfaithfulness, He IS faithful. The overwhelming theme of His revelation to me since then has been love: pure love, steadfast love, secure love, undeserved love, unconditional love (the list goes on).

And thus, it started with a song: Amazing love, how can it be, that You my king would die for me? This, I realise now, is just the modern version of my lifesong ("And can it be" by Charles Wesley written in 1728, which, for some reason, I adopted as my own when I was 13) which has the line "Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?"

Another song and then a poem, a verse, a picture of promise, even a birthday present from my dear wee brother, and yet more verses, all within the last two weeks.

And even tonight, I just so happened to be listening to some guy reading from 1 John 4:7-12 "...love one another for love is of God... this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice... His love is made complete in us" while simultaneously reading on another website: "Today's Topic: The Love of God -God did not spare His own Son". Mere coincidence? I think not.

And later on this evening in reading, this jumped off the page: 1 John 4:10 -wait a minute, that was one of the same verses that guy was reading (ooo woo woo). You'd think Someone was trying to tell me something!

I asked, and it seems, I surely received.
It's staggering, quite overwhelming really. Now how am I to respond?

Curtain Coincidence

2008-06-09T23:26:00.001+12:00

When I was in Auckland recently I happened to find myself in Auckland's favourite fabric store (Harveys) and after looking at all the blue fabric (for no other reason except it was blue) busied myself in the bargin bin (for no other reason except it was on sale and one just never knows what one might find).

About this time I remembered the lack of privacy in the place where I live due to the fact I don't have net curtains on two of the windows so I can't open the curtains and it's all dark and gloomy. Thus I began my search in earnest. Not just for two matching nets, but good priced and not hideously outdated ones.

Well, I found them (otherwise I wouldn't be writing this blog). The only matching nets were simple, elegant and in the correct size. I took them. Worked out to be 80% off.

What's more, when I got home I found to my surprise that they matched the only other net curtain already in my room. Now how bout that?

Authentic Phony

2008-06-09T23:03:00.002+12:00

"...Occasionally, a genuine human encounter takes place, and we are taken aback by the solid feel of the conversation, by the contrast with our more typical clichéd, shiny niceness. We long for the real, the really real, anything that will make us think meaningfully or act creatively or laugh sincerely..."

Read the rest of this article by Gregory Spencer on boundless.org (click the title)

The Southern Cross

2008-06-09T22:51:00.002+12:00

(Click title to see photo)

The Southern Cross God made to shine,
And light the Southern skies,
That people everywhere may know,
How Jesus His son died.

The crowd, they mocked and made their jest,
They spat in loving eyes.
“Oh, Son of God, now do your best,”
Cried pharisees and scribes.

A robe of purple for His back.
A nail in each hand.
Some things just aren't meant to be
But, redemption had been planned.

A single nail through His feet,
And for His head some thorns.
For us this punishment was meet,
So we could be reborn.

Not a bone of His was broken,
Just as they foretold.
His resurrection too, was spoken
Of by prophets of old.

So no one is without excuse,
It's written in the sky.
He gave His only Son for us,
And for our sakes He died.

So next time you're outside and see,
God's cross up in the sky.
Remember what He sacrificed,
And go tell others why.

The choice is yours, the choice is mine,
His victory to proclaim.
When God reveals then you will find,
There's power in His name.

-SMA

Salt

2008-06-09T22:48:00.000+12:00

Now, here's something good I read in the newpaper. It was to do with "christian" political parties. The guy writing on the opinions page said something like (and I paraphrase) "when the salt is in the salt cellar we know exactly where it is but in order for us to taste it's effects we must put it on our food".

Reminds me of Matt. 5.13 We are called to be salt.

Not to all sit together in our nice little salt cellar but to be sprinkled out over the food where we are needed.

China Well-Known Trademark ISO9001 CERTIFIED

2008-06-09T21:48:00.003+12:00

The ChaCheer(TM) Snacks, Delightful Taste !

The ChaCheer(TM) sunflower seeds,
picking the selected large and plump full sunflower seeds from the natural Inner Mongolian environmental-friendly farm, stuffed with traditional herbal flavor,
after steaming and roasting,
the crispy tasty seeds for sure
bring you the happiness of delicious feeling.

Well, after this quaint little intro I just had to try them and yes, they brought me the happiness of delicious feeling -for sure!

Click on title to see product (It may be well known to you)

Pig Intestine

2008-06-09T20:53:00.002+12:00

I just ate pig intestine. It was ok... it tasted like pork alright but the texture was the weird thing -more like squid legs. But who would notice when it's smothered in a delicious spicy sauce?

You Can File Me Under Miscellaneous

2008-06-09T20:43:00.002+12:00

Miscellaneous:

2. Having a variety of characteristics, abilities, or appearances.
3. Concerned with diverse subjects or aspects.

My Mum used this word (and the phrase "mixed bag") to describe me (in a nice way) today, when I once again regaled her with my struggle to be myself. When I try to be who people expect me to be I only end up feeling frustrated and unfulfilled, like I've cheated myself.

It's like looking at a cube and only seeing a square. Presenting the same side every time only reinforces the idea that that is who I am. I am a certain way. Inextricably stuffed into my allotted box.

She gave the pertinent example of the time in form one when I declined the option of even signing up for "Force 5" (an outdoor adventure elective). Force 5 would've been good for me: camping, kayaking, orienteering, rock climbing, abseiling, going bush etc. All things I was interested in and came to enjoy when I finally experienced them years later.

Instead I chose horticulture (because that sounded good too) only to find that no one wanted to be in that class as it was their last choice. After all this was what was expected of me. No one expected me to exult in the thrill of the great outdoors, to heed he call of the wild, but to paint rubbish bins and tend my dowdy tomato vine. They only saw me as a mouse to torment, who would rather read, knit, dance under the trees by myself or hide in the toilets. Surely, such a person is incapable of being adventurous.

To be fair, with a maximum of only two from each class, the odds were not in my favour, but the point is: I didn't even try because I was worried about what people might think.

And the truth? I thrive on the outdoors. I'd take trails and mountains and beaches and rivers and bush and campfires over screen-sucking and paper shuffling any day.

I have a mind for science but art is in my fingers. Sometimes I carefully place each stroke of paint, others I squelch my hands into the clay. I admire the gentle breeze for presenting my nostrils with a subtle fragrance and relish the wild winds of a perfect roller coaster. I like to shoot the breeze but only in a small group. I bake dainty cakes and cook a mean curry (seriously, it takes no prisoners, slaughtering all but the hardiest of stomachs). I've dabbled in ventriloquism, memorised books, played the tambourine. I dress up and put on silly voices. I take long walks as far as my legs will carry me and sometimes I just lie on the grass and watch the clouds or name the stars.

But usually you do not ask so usually I do not tell.

Smiling Tree

2008-06-09T20:27:00.002+12:00

I smiled at a tree and the tree smiled back at me. Which is kinda strange cos trees don't usually smile at me. Then I noticed the accompanying body slouched against the trunk, his crumpled suit resembling bark in the twilight. (hmm, didn't acually realise before this that I make a habit of smiling at trees)

Mountains Moved

2008-06-08T22:03:00.002+12:00

Mountains of concrete that is.

When I left for work this morning there were two hefty lumps of waste concrete sitting out on the front, er... lawn? Providing a little scenic undulation to the otherwise topographically challenged wasteland of a yard.

But when I got home I had a sense of something being not quite right and when I actually looked out the window, I saw that the great industrial scabs had been wrenched from their resting places and come to land upside down like giant spinning tops (except they weren't spinning, and didn't have that little stick bit poking out the top wherewith to spin them by).

So, it looks like I may be getting a proper garden soon.

Oh, I do hope so!

Quiz: How Comfortable Are You Being Single?

2008-06-07T23:27:00.002+12:00

I took a quiz on Beliefnet.com

I scored 57, on a scale of 0 to 80.

0 - 35
Your search for a soulmate has reached fever pitch. You might want to think about taking time off from the dating scene and getting to know yourself. Who knows, you might just fall in love all over again.

36 - 65
You are fairly ensconced in a comfortable single life, although you have your moments when you pine for that special someone. Take heart--your ability to go with the flow only makes you more attractive.

66 - 80
You love being single, and it bothers you that anyone would ever want to be any different. Letting someone into your life, though, might just make you happier than you thought.

Nice to know that I'm still balanced.

Fantastic Figs

2008-06-05T22:47:00.001+12:00

Ah, 'tis fig season as evidenced by my quite literaly stumbling across their flesh strewing the footpath. I happened to be playing that game where you sense your surroundings using only four of the five senses. On this occasion it was minus sight and the first indication that anything was out of the ordinary was the overwhelmingly sweet figgyish odor wafting directly up my nostrils. (Then came the inevitable smushing of said figs into the unyielding macadam). What a pity they lie wasted; rotting where they fall.

Figs make me think of 3 things: Astronauts, strangling and paradise. Let me explain.

1.A few years ago I was walking from Henderson out to Piha on the west coast via West Coast rd which wound up through the Waitakare Ranges. On my way I got chatting to an old lady and her two little yappy dogs about her laden fig tree. But whilst I was angling for a delicious morsel she was more intent on regaling me with adventures of her space travels. It was quite weird.

2. Next, they remind me of the massive 500 odd year-old strangler figs lurking deep in some tropical rain forest and my desire to climb one. The young figlet starts life nestled safely in the branches of some unsuspecting host tree. As it grows it sends down roots that fuse and wind their way down the host binding it into a living chamber and causing it's eventual death. Now, that's pretty impressive in my books.

3.And finally, yes, back to the garden where it all began. Human's vain attempt to cover their nakedness. The fig leaf was probably a good choice as it is rather large on the scale of fruit tree leaves but also inadequate as it rips and tears far too easily to be of any material use (believe me, I have tried).

Weevil Killing Spiders

2008-06-05T22:40:00.001+12:00

I happened to be in a big city with lots of skyscrapers reclining on the hotel bed gazing out at the sunset (as I always do) when I noticed a thrush was hopping round on the railings above. I motioned for it to come in through the open window and held my finger up for it to perch on hardly daring to imagine that it would do so. After cautiously negotiating the flapping curtains it swooped in, but I never did see where it went.

I must have drifted off to sleep, for when I woke I peered through the moonlight to see drowsy wasps scattered on the carpet and spiders preying upon them. They were putting up a good fight though and I managed to dodge the writhing clusters on my way to the kitchen to get a drink of water, for I was parched. I squeezed a lemon into the glass then filled it with water and took one sip before resting it on the bench. I went to take another sip and there was none left so I repeated the process but try as I might my thirst could not be quenched.

Feeling quite defeated, I suddenly awoke (in real life -I'm pretty sure) with a dry as mouf, sore froat and stuffed up dose, crying out for a mucolytic agent. Seriously contemplated tottering through to the kitchen to slake my thirst but looked at the time (6:28) and decided it would be better spent catching some more zzzz's before the alarm went off.

Then I was in a boat discussing a parasailing trip we had planned for next weekend and searching for the best launching spot. I was at the bow nonchalantly tossing ping pong balls onto a square plate on top of a pedestal whist someone else was steering (or so they seemed to be). Then someone from the boat in front threw a ping pong at me and it landed on my right eye -I was not impressed. Normally I wouldn't mind as it's only a ping pong ball, after all, but it actually hurt.

Before I knew what was happening the guy who was supposed to be steering this thing has jumped ship and is on the shore directing me to steer it in between a couple other boats ready for mooring. I was yelling back that I had no idea HOW! But it didn't seem to matter as I eventually managed to overmanning it by leaning on the appropriate side.

There hadn't been enough wetsuits for to go round so I donned full body armor instead and jumped into the water when a huge wave came out of nowhere and propelled me into the shallows right next to another boat. Someone else called out that I was a Torren but I said I wasn't (as I didn't even know what one was -and I still don't) but perhaps I was when I learnt of the real reason I was there. I had to go help diffuse a bomb that was planted under this other boat.

I took a deep breath and dived down. And as soon as I had, I found I needed to take another breath so I did (in the water, cool huh?). When I got down I saw there was no one else so I had to dismantle the bomb by myself, which I did just in time.

Then I was on top of the hill overlooking the bay with the skipper, staring not at the view but at some memorial mound. Mostly, it was just and old rotting tree stump but I could see it held special memories. I asked if the mistakes of our ancestors were any cause for regret. I leaned in to touch my forehead to a piece of branch that was sticking out, to feel the damp wood against my skin and inhale the mustiness. It was only then I noticed a sprig of fresh growth with small waxy white fragrant flowers (the closest thing I can think of is mandarin flowers).

And then I woke up.

I rolled over and saw the spiders struggling not with wasps now but with giant weevils. They were starting to prevail and I knew I had to be quick with the camera if I wanted to capture the action before the imminent annihilation. I turn it onto maro-shot and pressed the (what is that button called? The one that takes the photos, anyway), but nothing happened. In the dim morning light I expected a flash to go off, but no. My camera would not take a single photo.

And with that frustration it was almost a relief to hear the familiar ring of my alarm (in real life).

Prof. Dr. Ir. W.J. van Blommesteinmeer

2008-06-05T22:38:00.002+12:00

Is one of the largest reservoirs in the world located in the South American country of Suriname. It is named after the hydrological engineer Willem Johan van Blommestein. The locals call it Brokopondo.

I came across this in my internetual travels today and thought "Is this surely not the strangest or longest name for a reservoir?"

2008-06-05T22:36:00.000+12:00

How old is Grandpa?? Put your guess in now, then follow the rest of the story.

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandfather replied, 'Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

' television

' penicillin

' polio shots

' frozen foods

' Xerox

' contact lenses

' Frisbees and

' the pill

There were no:
' credit cards

' laser beams or

' ball-point pens

Man had not invented:
' pantyhose

' air conditioners

' dishwashers

' clothes dryers

' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and

' man hadn't yet walked on the moon

Your Grandmother and I got married first, . . And then lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, 'Sir'.
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.'

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios.

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . But who could afford one?
Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

' 'grass' was mowed,

' 'coke' was a cold drink,

' 'pot' was something your mother cooked in and

' 'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby.

' 'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office,

' ' chip' meant a piece of wood,
' 'hardware' was found in a hardware store and

' 'software' wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us 'old and confused' and say there is a generation gap... And how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.

Are you ready ?????

This man would be only 59 years old!

My Dad sent me this and he is only 2 years younger.

Yestermorrow

2008-06-05T22:34:00.001+12:00

I have some queries regarding a few chronological grammaticisms.

Firstly, Years and days...

Yesteryear refers to a bygone era not specifically to the year that came directly before this one. Wheras yesterday refers to the day immediately prior to the current day. We say last year as the annual counterpart to yesterday. But last day implies the end and sometime yet to come and scarce can we mention it lest we go all escatological on someone.

Secondly, This morning...

We say yesterday, today and tomorrow so why don't we say yesterday morning, today morning and tomorrow morning. No, it's always "this" morning (as opposed to "that" morning?).

I'm sure there's a reason for these. At least I sure hope so. Got any ideas? or come across any other anomalies like this?

Can not Compute

2008-06-05T22:31:00.001+12:00

The format of file .sxw is not supported. The supported file formats are: htm, html, doc, pdf, rtf, txt, wpd. (and what exactly are these anyway? Dialects of a lanuage I do not understand! Translation anyone?)

I guess I should be thankful it tells me the correctly supportable file formats. I guess I have to change it somehow.

Um, so, I never learned all this computery type stuff at school. I just picked it up as I went along, which is why I have huge gaping abysses full of non-connections.

My primary school had one computer (it was in our classroom, but even though I had some coolness by association {we were in the same class together} I was in no way cool enough to touch it). At intermediate the second form classes each had a computer but it was only used as a reward (on the condition that we only used it to play "Wheel of Fortune").

When I was 15ish our family got a pc and I remember encarta'95 quite well. Memorised the encyclopaedia (the interesting bits anyway) maybe that's why I know odd bits and pieces about random things?

Got a hotmail account in my first year at uni. but I hardly ever used it -people just didn't comunicate by email much back then (if we wanted to be sure of getting someone we had to pick up the phone and ring them or leave an answerphone message). I only really got into the internet in my last year at uni doing a research project. And I bought my very own laptop with one of my first pays.

Just on a side note, I remember when I was about ten, thinking what the future would be like and imagining that everyone would have a little pager-like device to write little notes in and be able to communicate with other people and then there would be no more arguments or fights cos people wouldn't get lost and last minute changes of plans could be told to other family members and everyone would understand and not get crossed by accident. And it went without saying that in the future every car would have it's own phone in case you broke down and needed to ring for help..

So everything I know about computers I found out by myself. If I can't figure out how to do something, I just wait til the technology becomes easier to use. And if I can do it, anyone can.

Although I'm always paranoid that one day I'll just delete everything by accident or get a virus or somehow or other damage my computer beyond repair.

Castaway on th Sea of Uncertainty

2008-06-05T22:09:00.002+12:00

So, there I am at the end of the jetty, figuratively sitting in my little dinghy. I've untied the rope and pushed off. My oars are the Spirit and the Word; I know they will bring me safe to my desired haven (which, at the present time, remains a mystery).

My fragile craft is pointed in the direction of Auckland, so, either I will get there eventually or the tide will turn and draw me back in to Christchurch or the the winds of change may yet dump me on some uncharted isle.

Yes, that's right, I have applied for a job in Auckland. An actual real live job this time. We'll see what happens. I feel nothing about it. It could be quite scary, but it just feels normal. Maybe what I've done just hasn't sunk in.

But I need not fear...

"He strengthens the hurricane to keep silent, so that the billows hold their peace" -Psalm 107:28 SPV (Sarah's Paraphrased Version)

Last chance to see Nicolas Dillon's birds

2008-06-05T21:49:00.003+12:00

Do you know where Two Fat Indians is on Manchester st? Well, right nearby is the Brooke Gifford art gallery. Go up the stairs for a peek of New Zealand outdoors, indoors. Stunning birds. Absolutely fabulous. Well, well, worth a look. Especially if you like simplicity, impressionism, and native NZ birds.

I was fishing through the recycle bin at work for something to read when I came across a 2 week old bit of newspaper with a couple of bird paintings and a brief description. As a fellow bird painter, I knew then and there that I just had to check it out.

There are only 13 pieces on display (I curiously noted that all but one of them were painted this year -that's some serious effort in oils) each with a price tag of 2-4K which I consider a bit steep when you can still see the whiteness of the canvas showing through in places. I guess that's where impressionism comes in. From a distance they are flawless masterpieces (even with the somewhat novel subject placement), but close up each one bears witness to a flying brush.

My detail-oriented mind has trouble reconciling such apparent hastiness with an accurate depiction of these beautiful creatures. Yet there it was before me plain as day, I know what I saw -the individual character of each bird captured on canvas. I will just add that the birds, as the stars of the show, ARE brilliant, it's the backgrounds that are a bit wishy-washy.

They are delightful and enthralling works and I highly recommend a viewing if you're in town on Saturday. Open from 11-1:30 What are you waiting for?

Cat Tripping Shoulder Cramps

2007-04-24T22:27:00.000+12:00

Just whistling as I was walking down my street this evening when out from the bushes (on the other side of the road) what should bound up to me but a spritely white cat with a tortoise shell back. All efforts to walk severely hampered by this wirey furryball entwined round my legs. I made slow progress for the next few houses til it gave up the me-owing act and slowly dribbled away.

My shoulders keep cramping up; it's because I have new shoes.

Celestial Bodies

2007-04-23T21:34:00.000+12:00

I seem to be obsessed with celestial bodies at the moment. I just have to stop and stare at them wherever I am.

After discovering my last name in the Bible, surviving an earthquake and gale force winds, wresting my kitchen utensils from the Big Bad Wolf and his mangy predecessor, I'm pleased to announce that Saturday's grape-juice making effort was a rather satisfying and rip-roaring sucess. Now to bottle it all before it ferments on the bench top.

Vindaloo

2007-04-19T21:02:00.001+12:00

As I was cutting through the mall on my way home from work I got side-tracked by the delectable aroma of Shamiana's spices wafting down from the food court. So I stopped and ordered the chicken vindaloo. The lady told me it was really hot and checked (twice) if I was ok with that.

Of course I was ok with it; I wouldn't have ordered a vindaloo if I didn't want something with a spicy kick. And no, I did not need to order a drink aswell.

The way she went on about how hot it was, I was expecting it to sizzle my tonsils off on the way down and transform me into a veritable fire-breathing dragon. But no. It was only westerner hot. Crestfallen was I.

Despite the build-up of false expectations it was still good and just what I wanted.

Something Strange

2007-04-15T15:46:00.002+12:00

...happened this evening. Sarah had just gone out but I thought I caught a glimpse of someone walking past the window. Thinking she'd forgotten something, I waited for her to round the corner and come up the back steps. But no one came. I was fairly certain I'd seen someone or something disappear behind the brick wall.

I had to investigate.

Yanking the ranch-slider open, I couldn't immediately see anyone, so just stood and waited. I was about to waltz on out, when I heard the rustle of dead leaves and saw the silhouette of a human form scuffling in the undergrowth outside my bedroom, and thought better of it. I slunk back in to the safety of the house, all the while wondering what my next course of action would be.

Then as suddenly as she'd arrived, she left, just casually strolling back down the driveway.

I never did find out what she was doing. I have strong suspicions though, owing to the evidence left behind.

Polar Blast!

2007-04-13T23:25:00.000+12:00

When I got up this morning I thought Winter had arrived. When I arrived at work my fingers were pegs of white with little bits of red glowing from underneath my finger nails. It had rained during the night and now the sky was clear, there would've been frost if it hadn't been still wet. A SW was racing up from Antarctica buffeting every living thing into a frozen statue. No precipitation, but it sure was chilly! Seeing the new white icing on the Southern Alps cake brought to rememberance the chill of snow-brushed wind. But all that came to mind was part of a song by the "Sons of Korah" called "The LORD's Delight" and based on Psalm 147:

His word runs swiftly
His commands
He sends to earth;
He spreads the snow,
The frost He scatters
The snow like wool,
The frost like ashes

And the hail, He hurls down
Who can stand up to His icy blast?
He sends His word and they melt
He stirs up the wind
And then the waters flow

On the way home all the waterfowl were bobbing in the lakes like flocks of decoys, fighting just to keep balance on the splicing and dicing of the vertical waves.

Armchair Archaeology

2007-04-11T21:31:00.000+12:00

This is a 'little' something I wrote/transcribed about a year ago, enjoy...

I just have a feeling you'd better stop now and delete this email if you don't ever want to try and attempt to understand chaotically random stuff.

but I've been noticing lately that when I sit down on my two seater couch, there is not enough room to stretch out so I thought I would catalogue a cross-section of my life by writing down exactly what IS taking up all the room beside me. Here goes....

The latest Farmers Mother's Day and Beauty Catalogue (complete with plastic wrap -no actually, true to my style, that is scrunched up in a heap on the floor!)
Comm. Bible study booklet on the "Symbols" series
Bible (AV)
CDs: 2 Scripture memory songs by integrity music (Encouragement & God's Grace), chillout worship, sons of Korah: resurrection, 2 Hymnstyle vocals (Down-Home Gospel & Country Church), and 2 of the "New Zealand's 25 Favourite Praise & Worship Choruses(#s 4 & 5).
Unopened Telecom bill
Tamil dictionary and phrasebook
Maps of CHCH (book and fold-out form)
"Challenges in Cytology" Picture Manual for the recent workshop on Confronting Difficult High Grade Lesions
RWT Deduction certificate for year ending March 2006
DVDs: Showboat and Gladiator
Unread THE STAR from monday 24 April
Journal
Webster's Dictionary 1991 paperback
RCC Contact Guide
Book containing hymns that I copy down from the internet
4 books: The Air I Breathe, Captivating, "authentic beauty" and Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them.
2 empty envelopes, one from the bank and one from church
A heap of (what looks like from this point of view) junk mail: Pak'n'Save docket $20.81, 16 Belfast bus timetable, DSE Warranty booklet, last night's used tissue, telecom bill for 23 march (I paid this one -I think so, I hope so), bank statement, tolls and internet bill (I also think/hope I paid this one too), another empty bank envelope, Warehouse catalogue issue #38, Mitre 10 5 day bonanza(apr581), Warehouse stationary, office max, Spag's Pizza menu mmmmm, in home childcare, Mitre 10 Mega (apr948), Mitre 10(apr751), Mitre 10 Mega Handtool sellout, The Warehouse, M10 (apr587), Warehouse stationary, office max, In-home childcare, M10 Mega (apr948), M10 (apr751), M10 Mega hand tool sellout, Spag's pizza mmmm, M10 (apr751) (?dejavu anyone?), Westfield Promotion, Best buys, Farmers big brand holiday sale, Damart (wrap intact), other half of my toll and internat bill and direct debit authority form, St Albans Neighbourhood News april, Unread CHCH Mail april19, sheet of bird stickers (one missing), another empty bank envelope (they sure do seem to like wasting these on me!), mail for one of the past tenants (unopened), mail "To the Proprietor", Mitre 10 (apr749), empty envelope from church, The Warehouse, another bank statement, Money saver coupon book, Spag's Pizza mmmm (Ahhh, alright already so I'll go and buy some pizza), Gamesman, Farmers easter holiday sale, psis, easter money savings, quality education, inside page of a church newsletter, CHCH Mail april 12, Farmers easter holiday sale, Gamesman, psis, easter money savings, quality education, Ezibuy Autumn Update, Net Tel Newstalk, Bendon outlet, Footlocker, Harvey Norman, Plastic box, More offspring from aforementioned church newsletter -look, here is the mother too!, SHOWERS from CMCT, Ezibuy Autumn Directory 06, the Realtor, a cuddly toy!(no really, I'm kidding)
The Dog & Lemon Guide
"Masters of Deception" an optical illusion book by Al Seckel
Net Tel envelope (Man, that was hard to write it was almost evelpope, envelpoep, envelpope, enveploep, every time I went to write it, I knew it had to be different but the right combination just wasn't coming out).
Whitcoulls receipt $9.99
greg laurie ticket thing
fine tip felt pen, blue (but hey, what other colour would it be?)
art/ideas/picture notebook
"this is not a toy" plastic bag
tightly folded square of creme egg wrapper
Michael Hill diamond collection (catalogue)
Bible CEV
Hair straightener
Two black sleeves I hacked off a top ages ago
My photos from India
4cm of black cotton
A triangular, Square-shaped blue cushion
2 off-white cushions
And finally the last layer: the couch itself and the blue cover thereof.

So now you know, after that brief foray into the archaeological depths of my couch what exactly it is that hinders the comfort of the sitter. No more, no less. This is not intended in any way to be a true or accurate representation of my house or life. This project was born out of pure curiosity on my behalf and resulted in my couch being able to breathe easier -it only has me to contend with now. Ha ha ha.....

Hope this brightened your day er, night or you'll never know if you did the sensible thing I told you to do at the beginning. And if you have read this far congratulations! You have just proved me right in my assumption that human nature is innately curious (or that some people have waaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands).

8th Webolution

2007-04-10T22:05:00.000+12:00

Last night as I was walking through to the house, I met a spider in my face. The light as glowing from within and illuminating the web from behind. My eyes happened to glance on a spider suspended between the branches, perched on no more than a shimmer of light (like the rounded streaking on a newly polished car, you catch it out the corner of your eye, but never sure if the dancing light is really there).

It wasn't a proper web yet, only the "spokes" were in place. Undeterred by my breathing, I patiently watched as he completed the eight revolution of the spiral in two minutes flat, climbing in what seemed to be the clockwise direction. I soon realised the illusion, as he was completely in silhouette it only appeared to be that way, and he was, in fact, moving counter-clockwise.

And yes, he had his breakfast of flies on toast out there this morning.

Speaking of webs... the other day I was trying to write a word starting with "web" but all that would come out of the pen was www. So I tried again, and got ww out before I scrubbed it out to start again, again, slowly! And this time I managed it; I've never been so proud (well, Ok. I have).

Redpolls

2007-04-09T17:19:00.003+12:00

(Click title to see picture)

Guess what I saw when I just happened to be kneeling on the floor gazing out the lounge window? A redpoll! I know, I couldn't believe it either! This was only the third time in my life I've seen them and I didn't even have to leave the comfort of my on home.

Redpolls are primarily seed eaters so they can often be found foraging in vacant lots nibbling up the weed seeds. To the untrained eye they just look like sparrows with a splat of red on their crown (head).

The female I saw was deftly twirling her way up and around the dandelion stalks. Then I saw the male barely a metre away from me through the glass. It looked like someone had slit his throat with two streams of blood trikling down his breast.

I stayed transfixed for those few minutes, even managed to open the window and hear them twittering away to each other, and then they were off leaving my garden void of dandelion seeds (I knew I was culivating them for a reason).

One New Thing

2007-04-08T16:56:00.002+12:00

Today I learned that equal perpendicular line segments connect the opposite centers of squares exterior to the sides of any quadrilateral (otherwise known as van Aubel's theorem). Quite interesting I think.

Chilli Quest

2007-04-06T23:02:00.000+12:00

During my week in Australia I tried a few out-of-the-ordinary chilli based products.

First, a BOOST Juice called Chilli-Chilli Bang-Bang, which was just your basic crushed berries and apple base with added chilli flakes. Interesting... and surprisingly refreshing with just the right degree of KICK. I liked it well enough (mmmm, yes I did) but not being a big liquid fan it meant I could leave it in the fridge and rest assured it would still be waiting for me later. David quipped "it's chilli-chilli today, and bang-bang tomorrow"

Of all the fudges I could've tried I had to choose the Hot Chilli Chocolate one, and yes, that was good too. Sweet chocolatey sugariness then slowly in crept a wave of chilli til my mouth almost exploded. It sure was a good way to eke out a tiny sliver of fudge!

Then there were sweet Thai-chilli sour cream flavoured Doritos, jalapenos on my pizza, portuguese spices on my chicken and when we got back to Kiwiland I got to tuck in to a "Wendy's" chilli with extra chilli.

And I wonder why all my food tastes so bland now?

Monophthongalization, etc

2007-04-05T22:29:00.000+12:00

Some words that I never knew existed until quite recently... (thanks, to TheFreeDictionary for most definitions)

Monophthongalization: (WARNING: this is my own definition) The process of turning a diphthong into a monophthong. (where there are two different vowels) both vowel sounds used to be pronounced but now they are pronounced together to make only one sound. i.e the reduction of a diphthong to a simple vowel. Which means practically nothing unless you know what they both are.

Well, here goes: A Diphthong is is a monosyllabic vowel combination involving a quick but smooth movement from one vowel to another, often interpreted by listeners as a single vowel sound or phoneme. While "pure" vowels, or monophthongs, are said to have one target tongue position, diphthongs have two target tongue positions.

I came across this lovely find of a word as I was reading how modern Greek language was derived from the ancient Greek via the Koine (common/Biblical) Greek.

Silviculture: the branch of forestry dealing with the development and care of forests
(forestry - the science of planting and caring for forests and the management of growing timber)

I first came across this in a newspaper article as someone's job description, and I, curious as I am, turned that very same hour to GOOGLE AKA "source of all knowledge" to find out what the guy actually did for a living.

Filibuster: The use of obstructionist tactics, especially prolonged speechmaking, for the purpose of delaying legislative action.

I first saw this as a "Word-of-the-Day" on my homepage www.thefreedictionary.com (that's right, I have a dictionary for a homepage!) and not knowing what it meant, just assumed it was something to do with horse training... how wrong could I be? Then, just recently I read it in the paper when one political party was accusing the other of filibustering. Well, Parliament can be a bit of a circus sometimes.

Excoriating:tear or wear off the skin or make sore by abrading or to express strong disapproval of.

This one I heard in church, but can't remember exactly the context. It seemed kinda self explanatory at the time but I couldn't help wondering what scoria had to do with anything (& it doesn't).

Laniard (Lanyard): A cord worn around the neck for carrying something, such as a knife or whistle

David mentioned this one last week. That's right, he used a word I didn't know and what's more he's known this word for about the last ten years. I had actually wondered if there was a name to call those strap things that go around your neck to attach your keys/card to apart from "those strap things that go around your neck to attach your keys/card to" and now I know.

Degustation: To taste with relish; savor. Taking a small amount into the mouth to test its quality. Sampling all of the chefs signature dishes in small portions at the one sitting. Usually eight or more courses, it may be accompanied by a matching wine degustation.

I've seen this twice in two weeks now. First it was part of some prize package to take part in a degustation meal. And by association, my first thought was "how disgusting" but being in a prize package perhaps it must be something good afterall.

And what's more, my spell-checker doesn't even recognise half of these new words.

Flying Warthog

2007-04-04T22:18:00.000+12:00

I saw a flying warthog today. A disorganised group of metaplastic cells was masquerading as a warthog in "Superman" pose, looking like it had just been shot out of a cannon. It had everything: snout, tusks and trotters.

an ou ead his log ntry?

2007-04-02T19:17:00.000+12:00

At the moment I seem to be fixated with trying to pronounce words on signs when only some of the letters are present. Such as broken neon signs or peeled off stickers. Leading to such combinations as... FOODTOW, WHI LL'S, ar caf' and acking bate.

Yesterday and today I had nine butterflies hatch (two of which were males).

OOoooo and today marked my quarter century.

Tree Climbing

2007-03-15T22:44:00.000+13:00

Why I ever thought a skirt and jandals would be respectable attire to go tree climbing in I'll never know. But somehow I found myself up the top of our crabapple tree emcumbered by said articles of clothing. It proved to be worth the effort and we now have two jars of mighty fine crabbaple jelly(jam). That is, after I stewed them up and strained the juice and added the sugar and boiled the blackbird germs completly away. Now, who will help me eat the jelly?

Number Plates

2007-01-28T19:53:00.000+13:00

I used to collect personalised vehicle licsence plates, just memorizing and writing down the numbers and letters not the actual plates. And I recently wondered why I had stopped collecting them. Simple, there just aren't that many where I am now (although I do notice them more now). But in Auckland and travelling to Waihi and back these are some of what I saw: (note the difference between the "O" and the zero "0"

IT1GRI
CHIPYS
0LFELA
JA1ME
ZNOM12
MADHO
ROODT1
SKUD
2REESA
BURTHA
P0PPA2
SN0CHK
FEETIC
ABILDA
HATCH8
I VIC I
ANGEES
LORI
DIVE IT
GRIZLA
PARI5
FABRC8
RES AV
NICKIS
1 RFC 1
BE MY 1
WOGDUP
CAYBUS
GD5
FILA
888SKL
BLUS4A
H0TEL 3
FPV 04
KORU 9
YASHUA
VIVI
SA KIWI
PNJBI
SAAB 3
TOP 1
SOAR IT
DAXVHN
TISINE
TRUDI G
EZI GO
MR SPEX
F0XIE
NEEEN
VOLANT
HLFKST
TERRY T
DYMOND
AV0S 4U
TAFFS
BROOKZ
BCHPUB
000001
MY 4SS
PSONYA
CO0L
COLLIE
RUSTYW
SSH
GO JT
FI5H
BWIAN
93 GTS
MUCKS3
CIRCON
BIG EZ
SULLYI
DCANT4
O4CHEV
ITZ GR8
CYBAL
QK V8
L0VGOD
PSD
DEEDAR
TLL3
ON N ON
I883
OOH B8
NICKY5
5WEATY
REMC0
PHTLUX
STOMAN
GOLD 3
REELZ
PEPE I
DARK 12
JTR BUG
2TOW4U
ACUPUM
RGENY
AHHHH
SNO PIG
PBTECH
JANIS 1
GUNMAN
01 APR
SUE ZIE
WELMAN
AVNTL8
XMAS P
W1RED
SUSIE R
MYD1DA
DLMN8M
HA5IN

Random Shop

2007-01-08T23:03:00.000+13:00

What three things (and only three things) would one never usually buy in this combination from the supermarket?

Well, here they are:

1. Wedding card
2. Can of tomato paste (with garlic and herbs)
3. Methylated spirits

SIT COM

After lugging this lot home through blazing sun and scorching heat I plonked my booty on the counter and declared "I'm THIRSY!" at the precise moment I revealed the meths. Momentarily causing the girls to assume I'd bought it for some reason other than it's intended purpose (which was to rinse paint brushes, of course).

Can I just say that that was the most horribly pungent meths I've ever chanced to smell? It was so gross! (Later that night we added milk to it -just to see what would happen -yep, it curdled. I knew we should have tried lighting it on fire, now, why did we not? Oh yeah, I'm trying to keep up the cover of 'responible adult' and I didn't want to wreck my bowl)

These Shoes Were Made For Walking

2006-12-31T23:19:00.003+13:00

Time to shed some light on the dimness of my wit. I have new walking shoes, and for some reason thought it would be good to christen them with a three hour walk. Oh why?

Took the day off yesterday -just because I could, annual leave building up and all that. I felt I needed time to recharge and do some beholding. So off I went up to Victoria park, did the H.G.Ell walkway (goes from the Sign of the Takehe to the Sign of the Kiwi).

The wind was whipping a mighty gale through the pines or so it sounded. From there I took the loop tracks round Sugar Loaf Transmitter. Once I rounded the leeward side the wind dropped completely off and all seemed relatively silent despite the roadworks going on in Dyer's Pass.

Now I could fully appreciate the birdsong: the grey warblers were warbling, the skylarks were larking, the yellowhammers were hammering, the bellbirds were tolling, the slivereyes were silvereying nah? Well maybe that's a bit much. But it was lovely. All was harmonious. And yes, I did see all those birds plus: chaffinch, dunnocks and blackbirds. The grey warblers are a favourite of mine, like little mice with wings.

“What if someone's sitting on 'my' seat?” I thought, as I drew nearer to the stone seat with my picnic. But no one was, so I could enjoy the view over the harbour by myself. Just me and my lunch and my book.

As I was coming back down I heard an invasively loud droning like an aeroplane flying just overhead but it didn't recede. Then I looked up and saw the transmitter festooned with all it's dishes and realised it was just the wind. Walked a little further under the cliff and the sound went off, walked back a few meters and it was 'on' again. Sound goes on, sound goes off, sound goes on, sound goes off.

Which reminds me, does anyone know what the thing on top of the hill is? Not the actual transmitter but the huge round concrete thing? I saw it when I went off the path, I didn't go right up close to look and to be honest I probably shouldn't have been there at all. But just curious.

Coming back down, the wind was amazing, I'm sure my hair was actually standing on end (see photos). I had to lean in to it to get anywhere and I would've toppled over had it suddenly stopped. Yeah, it gave me a wind headache but it sure was worth it.

Then I came home and made pizza for tea. A topping finish to a brilliant day. And yes, my feet survived the breaking in of the new shoes without so much as a blister afterall. How nice.

All I Owe (by Matthew Smith)

2006-12-14T23:53:00.004+13:00

(click on the title)

"These hymns are woven into my very being. They shape my thoughts and actions as I seek to love God and live life. They rise up and fight the lies that seek to crush me. They allow me to reach out into mystery and embrace my longings. They give me courage. They remind me that all I owe has already been paid. They make me see Jesus"

That's pretty much how I feel, too, when I listen to my new compact disc.

I bought it as a present for myself without even listening to it but I can already tell it holds many hours of listening pleasure. I knew I would like it based on the hymns (which have been set to new music and some tastefully altered)

1, Come thou fount of every blessing
2, His love can never fail
3, Thy blood was shed for me
4, How helpless
5, Jesus, I am resting
6, All I owe
7, The Lord will provide
8, None among
9, My Lord I did not choose you
10, Nothing but the blood

Batfly

2006-12-12T22:31:00.000+13:00

Whenever I think about Mystacinobia zelandica (more commonly known as the New Zealand batfly, and don't tell me you've never heard of it, it was the fly find of the 20th century—not just a new species for New Zealand but an entirely new genus! C'mon, get excited people) I am so thankful that I'm not a blind, wingless, guano-munching batfly (wait a minute, I am wingless but, that's the way it's suposed to be!). What a life eh?!

Fruit & Vegie Prep.

2006-12-11T22:20:00.002+13:00

A thought occurdled to me today. We shuck corn, hull strawberries, pit olives and dates, core apples and peel bananas. What else do we do to our food to facilitate comsumption?

Shattered

2006-12-10T21:52:00.001+13:00

I smashed a favourite breakfast bowl last night.

Now, here's a reason why I shouldn't put the dishes away late at night. I turned the bowl over in my hands and as soon as I had, I realised I hadn't gripped it propperly and it went plummeting down to the floor. I knew it was a gonner. It would've landed safely on the plants but instead it knicked the edge of a cast iron frypan (that was on the ground so it would be out the way).

Thanks to my lightning fast reflexes it was all I could manage just to shut my eyes in time. I didn't see the moment of impact (but that was SOME comotion, a mighty clattering) but that was just as well as I felt a veritable spray of ceramic (one shard even deflecting off my eyelid). After the fragments of a once complete vessel parted company there was a split second silence before the pieces rained back down (some even landing on the bench) to cover everything like pointy little snowflakes.

All I have left is most of a rim, the base and a half dozen or so spikes, plus the white chaff. Needless to say it's beyond repair. I miss my bowl. I had been planning our future together. It was going to be great.

Later that evening, whilst brushing my teeth, I noticed in the mirror that there was still a piece of bowl stuck on my eyelid. Praise God for eyelids!

Destructive Durian

2006-12-07T20:11:00.000+13:00

I thought you might like to know that I just found out they named a wicked Typhoon after that delicious succulency, that exotic delicacy, the veritable crowning glory of all the tropical fruits the pungently overpowering and most revered, the humble Durian. How dare they?

I think part of it's appeal for me is it's inate unloveliness.

When we all know it is harmless really. Go visit durian palace for the many ways to indulge your durian tooth (and order a durian office party!? Ok, so, even that may be a bit much, even for me).

www.durianpalace.com/gourmet

Breakfast Surprise

2006-11-30T21:31:00.001+13:00

This morning I broke my nightly fast with a couple of Weetbix (tm) in milk as I do most mornings, unlike the other morning when I went to cook my dinner in the microwave, I opened the door and lo, there, staring gormlessly back at me, I beheld two plump Weetbix languishing in day-old milk. Gross!

Xmas-Fuelled Daymare

2006-11-24T17:10:00.000+13:00

So there I was fighting for my life, sploiked in the syrupy sweet cookie crumbled intestinal soup of a giant gingerbread man struggling to keep from being dragged further into the amorphous bog of psychedelic sucrose. Then who should turn up (right on cue) but the villainous mob of Christmas wrapping paper coloured (that is to say they were red and green and festively decked with patterns such as: stars, trees, ribbons, bells, snowflakes etc) overgrown amoebae possessing piranha-like teeth. I was doomed. Doomed I say. I was destroyed, completely and utterly. Simultaneously dissolved in the gastric secretions of Mr "you-can't-catch-me-I'm-the-Gingerbread-man" and shredded to pieces by the harmlessly packaged inhabitants of said bowel.

Yes, I must admit, this year I am swamped with cynicism over the commercialism abounding in Christmas. It's got to the point where it's funny, but at the same time it's not. Who will proclaim the true reason for this celebration?

And yes, this was a real dream (that I had whilst I was at work {I only rested [I believe the correct term is: Micro (or in my case, Macro) pause] my head on my arms for ever such a short while, and this is what exploded forth from my unconsciousness}). I strongly suspect we had been discussing Christmas and the multiplicity of attending stresses.

Euromop

2006-11-23T20:14:00.000+13:00

I saw an advertisement for the Euromop (billed as "the only mop you'll ever need") in the paper today. At only $48 it's quite a steal, and apparently, according to the title slogan, "It picks up dirt and hair I didn't know was there".

Well, blow me down, but you won't see me forking out 48 bucks to clean something I didn't know was so filth ridden in the first place. In my books: If it looks clean, it is. Oh how blissful ignorance is, yet I persist in practicing foolhardiness in the presence of enlightenment.

AGGED EFFECTS

2006-11-19T20:01:00.000+13:00

I read the name of a hair studio as "AGGED EFFECTS" and thought maybe the hoary head look had gone mainstream. I began to imagine what kind of effects they would be; maybe they'll put a blue rinse through and add some silver streaks or for the guys: a bald patch with that wispy little comb-over.

Then I noticed a whomping great jagged letter "J" before the "AGGED" part. It was in a different font. I couldn't see it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it, never mind that years pertaining to the elderly is spelled "AGED" not "AGGED". With the addition of that one little (figuratively speaking) letter I realised that said studio was decidedly not as septuagenarian friendly as I was first led to believe.

Dream Quote

2006-11-18T22:41:00.000+13:00

I said something rather profound this morning, just before I woke up. I even remembered to write it down, but I have no idea what it means.

"Lack of ambition in ourselves helps us fail to see it as a shortcoming in others."

All Things Agricultural & Pastoral, All Creatures Great & Small

2006-11-17T19:49:00.000+13:00

Today I thought it would be nice to take myself along to the Royal Canterbury A&P Show, so that is precisely what I did. I packed a picnic and slathered on the sunscreen, though I really needn't have bothered (I knew I should have packed an umbrella or windbreaker at least).

Highlights: old farm machinery, tractor pull event, wood-chopping, whip-cracking and cows.

What I came across first was some working antiquated farm machinery. It was great because usually this kinda thing just delapidates in a shed or museum somewhere passing itself off for a boring unuseful piece of junk. Most were manufactured during the early part of last century, but there was one at least from 1895. Some ran on oil, others on gas but it was all smelly and great! So many of these ancient beasts congregated in one place attended by their equally aged sapien counterparts. All hissing, slapping, clacketting and spluttering, trying in vain to rattle free of their wooden constraints.

I walked around and got a feel for where everything was. Bumped into Steve all dolled up in a clown costume selling balloons.

Then it was time for the Super-Modified V8 Tractor Pull Competition. Great stuff!! My ears are still pounding. Two tractors drag off towing a massive sled and slabs of concrete. The very earth quaking and the air trembling with as they say "Lots of loud raw noise". Clods of earth flying up. Those vehicles are fast super fast. Oh-so entertaining. Then it started to rain, but somehow that just didn't matter.

For lunch I settled down on a hummock overlooking the Wood-chopping arena to watch the underhand (where the axeman stands on block whist chopping it in half) and standing block chop heats and finals. Also, the jill and jill woodsawing. I always like the wood-chopping events. I was not disappointed.

The sideshows and trade pavillions are pretty much like the Auckland Easter Show -filled with overpriced goods that you'll only use maybe once.

Had a good half hour of whip-cracking entertainment by the Manwaring family, before being lured into the food tent. I, propitiously sucumming at the precise moment when the acceptible ratio of precipitation became unbearably high. There I sampled a whitebait (ah, haven't had those lil' fishys for years, ?decades, maybe even) pattie open sandwich. Kaituna goat cheese from Gruff Junction (in fact I'm fixing to have some right now) and my first sip of Himalayan Goji juice (but at $85 a litre {yes, $85 that's no typo!} that's probably the last time I'll have it). It tasted very berryish, surprise, surprise for that is indeed what it is derived from (the Goji Berry) but with the sweetness and tartness somewhat akin to apple juice and then on the verge of swallowing it became all thick and chilli-like. I approve, yes, it was much to my liking. Such an exoticity my tastebuds have never before encountered.

Then I traipsed round the cattle stalls. It was good to be able to see what different breeds look like in the flesh (as opposed to just reading about them on the net). I love bovine eyes. Saw an alpaca getting shorn/shaved/having a full body hair-cut. At about one-fifth the size of the largest male, some of the banty roosters' crows were so twee. The ducks just wanted outa there.

Then the clouds that had been re-brewing all afternoon cracked open just when I had to find the bus to take me home, but I missed he last bus, much to my dismay, so I resigned myself to trudging along in the gutter, in the rain.

After all that dirt, hay, cows, gas, oil, dampness, my hair now smells really gross, if I may say so myself. And I just did. So I'll probably wash it tomorrow.

Flying Hat

2006-11-17T00:19:00.000+13:00

My "random act of kindness" today was well, precisely that: random, but I didn't really have any choice in the matter. One split-second I was walking behind a group of people on this, an inordinately buffetous day (thanks to the infamous Canterbury Nor'wester you understand) the next, my hands shot up to protect my face from a U.F.O. Any thought of actually catching said object, utterly dashed by an appalling track record of eye-brain-hand coordination; yet there it was. Somehow lodged in my grasp, a camel velveteen baseball cap, which I swiftly returned to it's grateful owner.

Do the Bus Driver Stretch

2006-11-14T22:57:00.000+13:00

It was early evening.

My stop was the very next one.

The bus driver pulled into a bus stop.

He opened the door.

No one boarded.

He closed the door.

He let the bus idle.

I was the only one on the bus.

He rose to extricate himself from his chair.

I slunk into my seat and smiled politely.

He stood on the chair directly before me.

Then straddled the isle.

I averted my eyes.

He reached for the skies.

I feigned disinterest.

But really, what was this guy doing?!

Click, went the sunroof.

My question was answered.

"Getting cold now isn't it?" he responded to my dubious glancing and went about shutting all the windows.

October SMS Summary

2006-10-26T21:42:00.000+13:00

25 sent by me (and at 20cents each that would be a grand total of oh about $5 {Ooo I'm a big spender, I am} excluding free text weekends).

45 received -thats imense! I think it's a veritable record for me.

Rotting Head

2006-10-25T23:05:00.000+13:00

Yup, I just tossed a rotting cruciferous head out of my fridge.

I have no idea how it got in there.

Who put it there? Certainly not I

Why was it even in there?

When did it first take up residence down in the depths of the veggie "crisper"?

Tis one of life's little mysteries.

September SMS Summary

2006-10-03T22:22:00.000+13:00

43 sent by me (go the free text weekends) but that still only averages out to 1.5 texts per day.

44 received.

Paradise Shelducklings

2006-10-02T21:33:00.000+13:00

It was rather chilly but I still had lunch down by the river as I do every Monday. A male Paradise Shellduck stood sentinel winking at me through half closed eyes and struggling to keep balance on one cold leg as the wind buffeted. I wondered to myself if this was the Daddy of the brood of newborn ducklings I'd seen last week. It wasn't long before I witnessed a female Shellduck screeching away any other anatine creature that so much as dared to waddle along the opposite bank. Man, she was fierce! So naturally they had that section of the river to themselves. But where were the ducklings this time?

I teetered off the path as went to investigate. Then I saw it... but why were the parents watching over an ordinary brown sleeping duck? Upon closer inspection I could perceive the individual striped bodies of nine little ducklings all huddled together. This observation cleared up a great mystery for me... Why do Paradise Shellducklings sport boldly brown and cream stripes whilst their Mother and Father are a mottle of glossy brown and green with white and black heads, respectively? Now I know... When all the ducklings huddle together they take on the size of a formidable waterfowl. Especially if the behaviour of their Mum is anything to go by!

Wellingon Trip

2006-09-26T21:45:00.000+12:00

One day I will write up a wee note on what I did in Wellington but today is not that day. Hope the photos will suffice for now.

by Cyanteal

12-12-12

2006-09-23T22:27:00.000+12:00

I found this recently and just had to share it.

An excerpt from chapter 7 in Andronicos the Great's book 12-12-12

A few words on creation now follow.

There is no logical reason for the Universe to be as it is, nor the relative strengths of the forces such as gravity to be what they are. If gravity had been stronger - the universe would collapse and even worse would never have exploded into existence. If gravity had been weaker, the stars and planets would never have been formed or stuck together in the lumpy heavenly bodies that spin around the Cosmos. Why? Does random chance possess a sense of reason?

If the "strong" quantum force that holds tiny atoms together was weaker - the universe would be filled with only one element - Hydrogen. If it were stronger, the universe would probably be one big black humungous lump of matter. Why?

The magic number π (3.1426...) (or 3.1415962... I think is more like it) appears in weird and wonderful places throughout physics and mathematics. Why? Does random chance possess a Maths degree?

The number one followed by 40 zeros (10 to the power of 39) is roughly equal to the ratio of the electrostatic force between an electron and a proton to the gravitational force between them. It is also roughly the ratio of the radius of the known universe to the radius of the electron. 10 to the power of 39 x 10 to the power of 39 = 10 to the power of 78 which is approximately the number of particles estimated to be in the Universe! Why?

The moon, which is used extensively in religious calendars, fits exactly in front of the sun during an eclipse. Why? Does it not show the mischievous sense of humour of its designer? Who is saying "hello my little children, has the penny dropped down there yet?"

There are some pretty strange animals and plants which live on this planet. Pretty weird in fact. "Nature" appears very generous with its sense of humour to have "allowed" the gorilla, orangutang and chimp to come into existence. Why do all these exist? Does random chance possess a sense of humour?

Scientists are often too busy looking at details with their microscopes (yup, that so is me!) or telescopes (guilty again) so they miss the overall picture. It's a bit like standing inside a giant footprint which can only be seen in its entirety from a distance.

Ant Sauna

2006-09-21T22:26:00.000+12:00

Ants have developed an unnerving affinity for the interior of my kettle. I have learnt to perform a visual check of it's contents before I put it on to boil (unless I'm paricularly going for that formicidaen taste).

August SMS Summary

2006-09-19T21:15:00.000+12:00

Total sent: 36 (26 to my bro. 2 to Mum, 4 to Matt, 1 to Lewis, 1 to Renee, 1 to Debs and 1 to the Cancer Society)

Total received: 23 (18 from my bro. 2 from Matt, 1 from Sally, 1 from Debs, 1 from Vodafone and 1 from the Cancer Society)

My brother is the master of single word/sentence text messages. All of his texts to me last month exhibit this phenomenom (except the long one -but I think that was a bulk txt so it doesn't really count), here they are:

No po
Hv a cold right now
Exactly
7 7 7
Riiight... I think it might b
No
YAY!!!! I can now send txts from my computer via skype :D You should b able 2 reply and it should go to my mobile. go 2 skype.com4 moe info! :D HAV FUN! :D
Riiight... I think it might b
So?
Uh Huh
Yeah!
Wooo
ckeck ya emails.... :-)
Email me the details and il 2 wot i cn do
Oh and haha! :-)
Slefping
hhuh... Whooppee!... Had any food lately?
I c

Meteor over Canterbury

2006-09-12T22:07:00.000+12:00

I certainly heard it. We were all sitting at our desks looking down our microscopes when we heard this loud eerie bang/rumble that made us simultaneously look up and out the window, definitely not a day for thunder. Some car alarms were set off so we thought it could be an accident on the construction site down the road. But it sounded bigger than that even. It was quite creepy too, like something was def. not normal; I think we were all poised to leap under our desks if it was the start of an earthquake. Well, it was all very exciting.

Jumping Jaws

2006-09-09T21:52:00.000+12:00

Odontomachus bauri (the trap-jaw ant) makes the fastest self-powered predatory strike in the animal kingdom snapping it's mandibles shut at around 35 to 64 metres per second, (2000 times faster than a blink). Using a pair of huge muscles in the head it cranks the jaws wide open, and holds them cocked with a latch called the clypeus. Releasing the latch unleashes the stored energy, similar to a bow and arrow when fired.

http://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2006/08/21_ant_video.shtml

This shows all 0.13 milliseconds of the strike (slowed down 1667 times for our benefit)

And when a predator threatens, the jaws serve a double purpose as an ejector-seat. When they strike a hard surface, the forces generated are strong enough to catapult the whole ant through the air. Resulting in the "escape jump," with upwards trajectory of about 8cm or the "bouncer defense jump" where it clears a greater horizontal distance of up to 40cm.

But just like the daddy-long-legs spider; O.bauri is no threat to humans. Despite it's ferocious looks, it's puny mouthparts can not penetrate human skin (any attempts to do so just bounce it right off).

"New Scientist" Nuisance

2006-09-08T21:43:00.000+12:00

I wandered into the library to pass some time, as is my custom on Wednesnights. I usually read my own books or complete a crossword, something constructive, ya know, but this year I discovered copies of the daily newspapers from around the country hiding out in their designated area down the back. All well and good, but as of late I've been ensnared by the scientific journals section (which comes just before the newspapers). Especially the New Scientist it has such a compelling hold over my brain to be absorbed that as soon as my concentration lapses (remember, I'm mid-stride, on my way to read the news) and my eyes momentarily dart to the right, then they become transfixed and my hands reach forward to grasp the latest copy. This week: why humans get addicted. Oh the irony!

But, I should be cured, now that I have found the website:

www.newscientist.com

Prosopagnosia

2006-09-06T22:27:00.000+12:00

We all (except me, of course) know the uncomfortable feeling of meeting someone familiar, and have a feeling we should know them from somewhere. But where? It gets worse; this time it's someone we know, but somehow can't extract their name from the cerebral filing cabinet.

Then along comes prosopagnosia (Pros-o-pag-no-sia) or face-blindness. As I read in the paper the other day.

In one of two forms: Primary prosopagnosia, which means ya born with it and Secondary prosopagnosia, which is accquired somehow through accident. What is it? A disorder of face perception where the ability to recognize faces is impaired, although the ability to recognise objects may be relatively intact. It was thought to be rare until recently but there is evidece to suggest that up to 1 in 50 people suffer and that it runs in families.

http://home.earthlink.net/~blankface/prosopagnosia.shtml
For more info from the perspective of someone with prosopagnosia

Some think that Capgras delusion may be the reverse of prosopagnosia. In this condition people report conscious recognition of people from faces, but show no emotional response, perhaps leading to the delusional belief that their relative or spouse has been replaced by an impostor.

I'm glad I have absolutely no problem with putting names to faces.

Patina vs. Verdigris vs. Rust

2006-08-31T21:09:00.000+12:00

I thought today "What is the difference between patina and verdigris?" and "Why don't we just call it rust?" Patina is my descriptor of choice, but I very well know what verdigris means, I just have no need to use it myself.

PATINA: Italian, from Latin, plate (from the incrustation on ancient metal plates and dishes)

1. A thin greenish layer, usually basic copper sulfate, that forms on copper or copper alloys, such as bronze, as a result of corrosion.
2. The sheen on any surface, produced by age and use.
3. A change in appearance produced by long-standing behavior, practice, or use: a face etched with a patina of fine lines and tiny wrinkles.

VERDIGRIS: Middle English vertegrez, from Old French verte grez, alteration of vert-de-Grice : verd, green; of + Grice, Greece (roughly translated that is: Green-of-Greece; Grecian Green)

1. A blue or green powder consisting of basic cupric acetate used as a paint pigment and fungicide.
2. A green patina or crust of copper sulfate or copper chloride formed on copper, brass, and bronze exposed to air or seawater for long periods of time.

RUST: Middle English, from Old English rust; from reudh- (redness) in Indo-European roots

1. Any of various powdery or scaly reddish-brown or reddish-yellow hydrated ferric oxides formed on iron and iron-containing materials by low-temperature oxidation in the presence of water.
2. Any of various metallic coatings, especially oxides, formed by corrosion.

So it seems that I would be slightly more correct refering to the green oxidation of church spires as verdigris rather than patina.

In Summary:
Patina = the actual plating or coating of the copper sulphate,
Verdigris = the greenish colour originating from something copper,
Rust = red, ferric oxide

Roadkill Review

2006-08-26T21:12:00.000+12:00

I walked out to Kaiapoi (and most of the way back) today. 27kms all up. Along the country roads I came across a few dead animals in different stages of decomposition: Two large animals (one possum and one cat or possum), ten birds (including a pheasant, two blackbirds, a thrush and a silvereye [I couldn't tell what the others were as they were too far gone -just feathers plastered to the road]) and five hedgehogs (now I see why they have such a reputation).

2006-08-24T22:08:00.000+12:00

Ok, so, it's been on my "To Do" List for over a week and I've finally done it. I washed the dishes. Sometimes there are more important thing to do than dishes. Such as: reading the paper, blogging, reading other blogs, learning new and interesting facts, screen-sucking GoogleEarth (for a purpose tho. -planning trips), writing emails, MSPainting, out with friends, etc etc and the list goes on, which all goes to prove that there is a life apart from dishes and anyone who says otherwise doesn't have one.

Gastropodan Mucus

2006-08-21T22:15:00.000+12:00

In common English, that's slugs and snails and the locomotive secrections thereof.

We all know they leave those silvery trails, but why? Well, gastropods propel themselves by the ingenious method of using their muscles to generate travelling waves of stress in the thin layers of (foul-tasting, {do not ask me how I know such things}) mucus they lay down.

Mathematicians have calculated that producing the mucus accounts for the largest component in the gastropod's energy budget, more than twenty times the amount of mechanical work used in crawling (which let's face it, isn't very much -though they do have to lug their home around on their backs, I'll give them credit for that). So it behooves them to produce the least amount of mucus they can get away on. This they do using "shear-thinning" - a phenomenon whereby the viscosity of the mucus falls when it is between two surfaces that are moving relative to one another (in this case the ground and their muscular foot). Shear-thinning allows the gastropod to crawl while using the least amount of fluid and thus decreasing the overall energetic cost of locomotion.

So next time you see a schneken trekkin' and it's wallowing in a pool of it's own mucus you'll know it ain't gonna get very far (not any time soon leastways). And if you're into snail racing it'll pay you to bet on the driest one.

Tongue Tied

2006-08-16T22:28:00.000+12:00

These are some of the words I cant say properly (or have to concentrate really hard before saying): Abominably, magnanamously, bueracracy, phenomenon, femininity and the worst of them all: anoniminity. Go on you try saying that then.

Ornithological Observations

2006-08-14T20:07:00.000+12:00

One swallow doth not a summer make, so the saying goes... and by the looks of things I'd say that's so. Technically, we are still in Winter's grip but, yesterday at a friends hockey game I noticed a lone swallow. Note, a LONE swallow, so no Summer for a while yet!

I walked out to Hornby on Saturday and passed a few factories, demolition yards, vacant lots and such, as you do out that way. Apart from the usual spadgies, blackbirds and starlings etc I was priviliged to see: a Dunnock fosicking in the undergrowth, a couple of Chaffinches and I almost stepped on a little flock of Goldfinches (I don't think they expected me to be there). Finally, I saw the largest flock of Redpolls I've ever seen (I only saw them definitely on one other occasion) about a dozen there were, but only for a few seconds before they flitted off in a single wave.

Telephone Book Bag

2006-08-13T20:00:00.000+12:00

Reading things like this brightens my day just that little bit more. The new telephone books were delivered today, in a happy yellow bag emblazoned with the message:

CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN NUTS ...and bolts, and nails, and wood, and carpenters, and roofers, and architects, and landscape gardeners, and doctors, and midwives, and daycare, and education facilities, and driving instructiors, and car dealers, and lawyers, and armed forces, and tertiary education providers, and travel agents, and divorce lawyers, and real estate agents, and financial advisors, and dating services, and retirement villages, and funeral directors...

Dilema Die Datum

2006-08-10T22:24:00.000+12:00

I had a dream.
Someone asked me what month it was and simultaneously implied it was October. To which I replied that October = almost November = almost the end of the year, and that just could not be so. Therefore, I reasoned it must be September (and I had figured out the day of the month was the 21st). But upon waking I find it is still only just gone August (thankfully, a whole chunk of year has not slipped by unoticed). What kind of person is lucid enough to deliberate month order and implications in their sleep anyway?

Short Posts

2006-08-09T23:28:00.000+12:00

My darling Brother recently informed me that my blog posts are too long, so I will attempt to remedy this, starting with this one, obviously.

Gallery Gander

2006-08-06T22:45:00.000+12:00

I visited the art gallery yesterday and spent a few hours entranced with the works of Julia Morison. Spread over 7 compartments, there were three themes:

The first section I examined was the meandering concentricities of "A Loop Around A Loop" a 20 year retrospective including more recent work produced especially for the exhibition. According to www.christchurchartgallery.org "The exhibition defies the traditional concept of a survey, instead multi-part installations juxtaposed against each other spiral and wrap around the gallery spaces, inviting viewers to ponder the notion of beginnings and endings, and the constant circling of ideas within ideas."

The larger-than-life canvases of "Gargantua's Petticoat" dominated the cavernous interior space. Many, like a maze for the mind, are based on repetitious woven patterns of thread and fabric that don't quite match up and yet that seems to be the very thing that holds each piece together as a composition.

And finally, multiple installations containing the repeating symbols, texture and inherent inferences of: lead, blood, clay, excretement, ash, iridesence, silver, mercury/mercuric oxide, gold and transparency. Yes, it is "modern art" and if you don't undestand what I've written; go see it for yourself (it's there til 23 October 2006). There is much thought process gone into it, it is calculated, yet almost alive.

Stille Nacht

2006-08-05T22:48:00.000+12:00

It's never too late to start thinking about Christmas. I'm still humming this from last time... Silent Night in the original German.

Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht,
alles schlaft, einsam wacht
nur das traute, hochheilige Paar,
holder Knabe in lockigem Haar,
schlaf in himmlischer Ruh', schlaf in himmlischer Ruh'.

Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht,
Hirten ers kund gemacht
durch der Engel Halleluja,
tont es laut von fern und nah:
Christ der Retter ist da, Christ der Retter ist da!

Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht,
Gottes sohn, oh wie lacht
Lieb' aus deinem gottlichen Mund,
da uns schlagt die rettende Stund'.
Christ in deiner Geburt, Christ in deiner Geburt!

Roaches for Brooches

2006-07-27T22:23:00.000+12:00

With the slogan "It's not a pest if it's pinned to your chest" www.roachbrooch.com wows us with celebrity fakes. Although there is such a thing as the Giant Madagascar Hissing Cockroach Brooch.

Blach Chandelier sells them for USD$80
This is the sales pitch:
"A little information on our little friends. These insects come in varied patterns and are decorated with the finest Austrian Swarovski crystal. Each roach takes about an hour of painstaking work to achieve his final magical glory. All roaches are male to ensure sterility, and come complete with a leash set. This consists of a gorgeous pin you attach to your clothing with a chain that clasps to the cockroach's carapace to keep him from running amok. The lifespan of these animals is approximately one year if housed and fed properly. This is not a guarantee, it is an estimate. Roaches love fresh bananas and must have access to fresh water at all times, a very damp paper towel or cotton ball will do the trick. Dehydration is the main cause of death. Keep him in a little terrarium in the dark and he will love you and be very responsive to your touch. Roaches are shipped overnight in a box and can be kept in this box for up to 4 days without food or water while you secure him more hospitable accommodations."

Personally, I don't think the "hang a 'roach around your neck" craze will catch on, but it may have it's advantages....

Cheese Dreams

2006-07-22T22:34:00.000+12:00

Well, we all "know" that eating cheese just before bed gives you crazy dreams, but, how true is it, really? The British Cheese Board (they aim to increase the consumption of British cheeses) did a small (200 participant) survey to debunk the cheese-nightmare link but what they found was that different cheeses have different effects. Here are the results:

Red Leicester for nostalgic dreams– over 60% of participants eating this cheese revisited their schooldays, or long-lost childhood friends, or previous family homes and hometowns.

Stilton - for vivid or crazy dreams, – particularly if you are female. (85% of female Stilton eaters had some of the most bizarre dreams of the whole study). Highlights included talking soft toys, lifts that move sideways, a vegetarian crocodile upset because it could not eat children, dinner party guests being traded for camels, soldiers fighting with each other with kittens instead of guns and a party in a lunatic asylum.

British Brie for a good sleep in general. Very nice dreams for females, such as Jamie Oliver cooking dinner in their kitchens, or relaxing on a sunny beach. Rather odd, obscure dreams for males, such as driving against a battleship, or having a drunken conversation with a dog.

Lancashire for dreams about work. – but only 30% of these involved the participants’ real-life occupations.

Cheddar -to dream about celebrities: Jordan, Gazza, Ally McCoist, Ashley from Coronation Street, the cast of Emmerdale and Johnny Depp.

Cheshire for a mostly dreamless relaxing sleep .

More info of course can be found at www.cheeseboard.co.uk

Annelidan "Twigs"

2006-07-20T21:04:00.000+12:00

Don't step on a twig on a rainy day,
Or you might find the twig won't stay,
On the ground,
It's stuck to your shoe now, you'll
Tread it round.

I made this little ditty one day when I was going on a long walk in the rain and this being a rainy day I thought this would be rather appropriate. The night had been blustery and the wind had been gustery the worms had fled the rising damp and camoflaged themselves amongst the twigs. Hence my warning to be careful next time you go to step on a twig, make sure it really is a twig or you'll be traipsing dead annelid around on your shoe all day.

Insect observations

2006-07-18T00:00:00.000+12:00

Arborio rice bears a striking resemblace to maggots.

The fruit fly (Drosophila melanogaster) -faithful friend of geneticists, shares nearly 60% of human genes (that makes it 10% more human than a banana) although each cell contains only 13,601 genes, whereas human cells, by contrast, are thought to have more 70,000 genes.

Huhu grubs taste like freshly picked asparagus -to me anyway. Alot of people say they taste like peanuts, which is what I said of fresh-picked asparagus the very first time I tried it. I guess the connection would be that both plants taste quite earthy from having been grown in the ground whilst the grubs have fattened up on decaying wood matter and such like. Mmmm delicious.

Cupcake Armageddon & such

2006-07-15T22:40:00.000+12:00

A whizz-by of the "information" the net dragged onto my screen, sometime between the hours of 2030 to 0230 last night.

From the Australian Museum online, I learned about the Killer Rat-Kangaroo's tooth (how the second premolar is not shed like usual but instead swivels 90 degrees to buttress the Fang tooth) and how the Giant Panda grows a sixth digit from it's wrist to act as a second thumb.

Took a look at A Thought From My Head, and wrote something lame.

From the Free Dictionary (I recommend it. Well, I would, it's not my homepage for nothing) I read about and saw examples of Trompe l'oeil (pronounced: "Trum ploy" it is French for "Trick the Eye")

I dazzled my tastebuds with the literary offerings at cheesenet (the internet's cheese information resource since 1995, apparently)

Stopped by at some random blog: Eyre Affairs

And another blog: How We Met.blogspot.com the story of Matt and Rachel.

Gmail, to check my emails -4 mailing list type things from faceless corporations better than nothing but yay! no spam.

A few pages of Mike Didonato's at MikeDidonato.com
Of note, the MSPaint competitions including: robots in playgrounds, matador and angry purple hippos and cupcake armageddon! Go on, Google it - you know you want to.

From rinkworks.com/romantic I learned that the single most romantic thing in the universe can be calculated scientifically. It is, simply, a small red candle made out of chocolate and shaped like a teddy bear holding a heart with scribbles all over it that plays a tune when you wind it up. Given at sunset of course!

Sparklesparkle.net for some weird writings and poetry: Al the were-bunny, numb butt blues, ode to cheese, the generic poem, halitosis, deprivation, an impromptu poem, cows, My Darling (an intentionally bad poem), Runny Nose (a parody of Run, by Collective Soul)

TheKingofCake.blogspot.com

Young Ladies Christian Fellowship, I go here almost daily. www.ylcf.org

Ode to Cheese by Arkady Yanishevsky

News from Reuters.com
"Wear nice pants" - police tell women drinkers,
Musicians cash in on head-butt,
Oddly Enough news: Roast pig guest-stars on Bush visit to Germany,
Ripley to challenge China to "Believe It or Not",
It was a long and twisting sentence... Jim Guigli of California was proclaimed winner of the contest, which challenges entrants to submit their worst opening sentence of an imaginary novel,
Chicken lays mystery Allah egg,
Follow that cab... Two Albanian men carrying stolen computers and flat-screen televisions worth $13,000 flagged down a Berlin taxi to transport their loot home but were later arrested after the cab driver called the police.

MaverickPhilosopher.powerblogs.com for some really pedantic English.

Stuffed nautiloids at maxsroom.org/screenshot/

University of MariborFaculty of Education Department of English and American Studies: Welcome to the on-line materials for the first-year English literature course at the Faculty of Education, University of Maribor. Index of poems, figurative language and glossary of terms for starters.

Raspberryworld.com yet another random blog

Slate.com furnished my ever-benumbed brain with: The word we love to hate -Literally, Revenge of the language nerds -beleagured linguists find witty champions in Far From the Madding Gerund, Why Ronaldinho has no last name -how Brazilian soccer players get their names, Does the word cup have a lingua franca? -how to curse out a referee from another country, How to head-butt like a pro -does Zinedine Zidane know how to use his head? and, Pink void -the psychedelic legacy of Syd Barett

Tailrank.com

At Xtra.com I learned that too much water can be fatal, How to get over the winter blues, the six stages of drunkeness, living alone doubles heart disease risk and about some dolphins in a stream.

And thanks to the wonders of he electronic age I got to see for the first time that fateful head-butting incident -you know the one. At video.google.com

A Splutter-gurgle

2006-07-14T21:12:00.000+12:00

Today I tried (by accident -not on purpose) to burp, yawn and hiccup all at the same. The result? A series of short, painful rather ungraceful splutter-gurgles. I do not recommend it; not in public at least.

Seeking Solitude

2006-07-13T22:33:00.000+12:00

Here is the place I go when I want to 'get away from it all'. Having no garden to speak of (in any practical sense) I've adopted the northern corner of South Hagley Park. There's a table to sit and write at. In the summer the grass is lush and verdant, though now the place appears open and barren. A road runs approximately 100 metres on either side, so it's spacious enough to give freedom but not completely isolated. The pictures show a psuedo-sunset (the real event occured half an hour later, see below).

I was crossing the footbridge when a stranger exclaimed "Oh, look at the sunset! Isn't it wonderful?" I turned and almost blinded myself but agreed that, yes, it certainly was a sight to behold, though it looks more like a forest fire, don't you think?

Armpit Entanglement

2006-07-11T22:01:00.000+12:00

My hand was one with my armpit (as it often is when cold) I struggled to extricate it as the alarm sounded four times, five times, six times.... I raised the piece of 2-by-4 above my shoulder, poised to swat that swaggering brown mouse, who had dared to interupt me in the garden shed, as I applied parsley to my forhead, which I "borrowed" from the post office, on my way through from the bank, where I had gone to retrieve a blue plastic and aluminum dining chair propped up against the shelf, which was actually my six-year-old brother in disguise, who had taken cover inside the first shop he came to after running across the road, where I had been nonchalently standing, shortly after disembarking a space shuttle/hover-craft/all terrain vehicle driven by an old pastor who was showing my family the sights of some imaginary city.

But then I managed to revive the sleeping fingers and drag them from their axillial-bedchamber long enough to hit snooze.